BDSM and what I learnt getting into it,
BDSM has some wordplay behind it; if you break it down, it actually falls into three categories. Bondage and Discipline / Domination and Submission / Sadism and Masochism. There is a lot more involved in BDSM than your average “wham, bam, thank you ma’am” encounters.
With BSDM, communication is vital, even before you start participating in any activities, it is essential to understand what role you want to play or how far you are willing to take it. It would be best if you did your homework and clearly understand what you are getting involved in.
I would suggest you start off light, do some dominant/submissive role-playing if you are a couple. This is important as you will see what role turns you on. If you are entering the BDSM realm as an individual, it is best to find people that can teach you and that you can talk to, they will be able to talk you through specific aspects. They will also be able to assist you in finding a dominant or submissive partner. There are many online communities available too, this is very useful in the beginning.
Once you have decided to start participating in activities and have chosen a partner to do this with, you will both need to agree to the terms of the arrangement. When it comes to soft limits and hard limits, you will need to discuss this and decide on what is allowed and not allowed beforehand. You will also need to agree on a safe word or signal in case a partner is unable to say the safe word, for instance, when a ball gag is being used. You can also opt to use the traffic light system, i.e., green means carry on, orange means careful now, and red means stop immediately.
SSC (Safe, Sane and Consensual) or RACK (Risk-Aware Consensual Kink) are terms often used at clubs or scenes; this is to confirm that you understand and consensually agree to participate in activities/ scenes. It is better to understand everything correctly from the beginning and go into this new world with your eyes open.
As mentioned before, there are many elements involved in a BDSM arrangement, and you need to be prepared physically and mentally.
Some websites offer BDSM contracts and BDSM checklists; this however I do not think is necessary if you communicate openly and honestly with your BDSM partner, your wants and needs will also change as you experience more. It would be better to discuss this often with your partner as you become more versed.
BDSM is not for everyone, some people fantasise about it, but in real life, it is not what they thought or imagined it would be. There is nothing wrong with realising that this is not for you; every person has their own opinion, and it is up to you what you ultimately need or desire. Start off slowly; do not take it further than you are willing to.
This could be something you will enjoy and participate in for many years to come, so there is no need to rush into it, you need to be comfortable. Everything is worth trying at least once in life.
With BSDM, communication is vital, even before you start participating in any activities, it is essential to understand what role you want to play or how far you are willing to take it. It would be best if you did your homework and clearly understand what you are getting involved in.