BDSM online dating

BDSM online dating

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BDSM online dating is not for the weak-hearted; it is messy, dodgy, often with people who claim to be into BDSM but are creeps or chance takers.

I have always hated online dating. However, it is the acceptable norm in our world, and apparently, everyone is doing it, great! Agh, it is even worse if you are into BDSM because people think they can command you to do something.

I am a switch; I can be dominant or submissive depending on my partner/ playmate. I tend to be more dominant, but I do enjoy submitting to a particular personality type. It is not the easiest thing to describe in a dating profile bio, and you need to word it correctly so that a BDSM kinkster can identify it without your bio attracting too many chance takers.

Once you have been in a BDSM dynamic, vanilla relationships don’t seem so attractive anymore; don’t get me wrong, all BDSM dynamics or relationships have vanilla aspects and sex. However, there is just that extra bit we all need and crave from BDSM dynamics.

There are so many people online claiming to be Doms/Daddys or Masters, and it gets very frustrating to weed out the fakes/ bots and catfish that you can understand why some people give up looking. A have met some exceptional characters online, claiming to be a Dom commanding you to send them nudes immediately, and if you tell them off, they try to shame you by saying you are a terrible submissive. Go chew on a brick you half-wit, I wasn’t born under a rock..

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When I try BDSM online dating, it is to find a like-minded partner with similar interests that I can connect with; most BDSM dynamics take time to develop. It would be better if you found a connection built on a suitable dynamic for both partners, and once a bond has been made, you can start the dynamic.  

No actual Dom will demand nude photos immediately, and if you don’t comply, sub shame you for being a bad submissive. Your comfort level will be of utmost importance to an actual Dom, and they will slowly build up trust so that you are more comfortable sharing intimate details and pictures.

Please do not fall for the wannabe Doms that want to jack off to your nudes in their parent’s basement; take the time you need, build a bond with the person you are interested in. If they lose interest or try to shame you, you are better off as they have no understanding of a real BDSM dynamic.

Create a FetLife account, read the forums, look for like-minded people. Join a local community or participate in virtual munches. You will be surprised by how many interesting people you will meet and build a bond with, there are not too many BDSM online dating sites.

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When I try BDSM online dating, it is to find a like-minded partner with similar interests that I can connect with; most BDSM dynamics take time to develop. It would be better if you found a connection built on a suitable dynamic for both partners, and once a bond has been made, you can start the dynamic.

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