Switch, the truth about it
Being a switch can be a lonely and challenging experience at times; it is very confusing in the beginning as you come across as a hesitant person that seems lost.
I am a switch, and I mentioned this previously. When I realized that I had some kinks and started exploring BDSM dynamics, I felt really out of place. I identified with the dominant and submissive roles, which did not make sense to me. Why can’t I decide what I want?
I stopped myself from participating in any dynamics initially because I did not know what I wanted. I was lucky enough to meet a friend one night at a scene who gave me a different perspective and helped me understand my own dynamic within myself.
I can be dominant or submissive; however, I cannot switch once I have entered into a dynamic with a partner. I will either be dominant or submissive in the dynamic/relationship. However, I can not switch after that. I am currently the submissive in my dynamic; I wanted to submit the moment I met my dominant. However, in my previous dynamic, I was the dominant.
I have often heard that a switch is just someone who wants to participate in activities without genuinely taking on a dominant or submissive role. A switch is a spectator as they don’t understand what it means to submit to a partner or how to dominate a partner.
I consider this to be very judgemental, especially from people in the BDSM realm. Nothing in life is black and white; there is so much grey worth considering. We all know that there is no one size fits all dynamic; we each have our own kinks, and there is not one dynamic that is the same as another dynamic.
To judge in a realm that is considered to be so inclusive is narrow-minded and hypocritical. When you first start participating in BDSM, you think you know what your kinks are and but as you explore different things and dynamics, your kinks change with time and experience.
The same goes for switches; you might identify as a switch now; however, I know many people that started off as switches and, as they learned, what they enjoyed and desired either became submissive or dominant. This, however, depends on you and your partner; you can be whatever you want.
The BDSM realm is a fantastic place to meet unique people; you will learn about yourself. You will grow and change into the kinkster you are supposed to be. Unfortunately, there will be times when you meet the wrong partner or try a dynamic that isn’t suited for you. That is just a learning curve; we have all experienced them.
Don’t let anyone tell you what you kink or your role is; only one person knows what you enjoy and need, and that is you!
I have often heard that a switch is just someone who wants to participate in activities without genuinely taking on a dominant or submissive role. A switch is a spectator as they don’t understand what it means to submit to a partner or how to dominate a partner.