Communication in BDSM

Communication in BDSM

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Communication in BDSM is of the utmost importance; you are in a dynamic or relationship with a partner, and you are either submissive and dominant or maybe even both.

You are still equals in your dynamic and need to be able to communicate. Communication is the foundation is any worthwhile dynamic or relationship. Your partner is not a mind reader, and sometimes even though you might make a comment or drop a hint, they won’t always necessarily pick up on it. You need to stop and talk about it, like adults.  

Dominants will discuss many things in-depth with their submissives to understand what their soft limits are, what are their hard limits are. Ultimately what their submissives would like to achieve through the dynamic. Dominants will continuously check in with their submissives to ensure they are doing okay and comfortable in a scene or activity. It is the dominant’s responsibility to look after their submissive and always have their best interests at heart.

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It is just as crucial that submissives communicate openly and honestly with the dominants, don’t hold things back because you think you might disappoint or upset your dominant. It is important to discuss things and raise any concerns you might have.

Often a dominant will put rules in place for the submissive to follow. It could either be part of a negotiated contract or just a regular discussion of what is the expectation in the dynamic. During these discussions or negotiations, both parties need to honest about what they want on how the dynamic will work. Communication in BDSM is the first thing that needs to be developed.

Apart from discussing kinks, you also need to discuss whether or not it’s a sexual dynamic. Is there a possibility for a romantic relationship? If so, what are the options? If it is a romantic relationship, is it monogamous or an open relationship?

These might be uncomfortable questions to ask, but both parties need to understand what they want out of the dynamic or relationship. Suppose you are monogamous and your partner is in a poly relationship. In that case, it might be best to move on as these kinds of relationships don’t always work out as monogamous partners don’t suddenly become polygamous overnight.

Communication in BDSM is essential from the beginning of a dynamic or relationship. Things tend to move very quickly. Before you realize it, feelings and emotions come into play and will hurt the dynamic and possibly both partners.

As long as you keep communicating, you can create a very special dynamic or relationship with your partner. It is gratifying to be in a dynamic or relationship where both parties are open, honest, and understand each other’s wants and needs.

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Often a dominant will put rules in place for the submissive to follow. It could either be part of a negotiated contract or just a regular discussion of what is the expectation in the dynamic. During these discussions or negotiations, both parties need to honest about what they want on how the dynamic will work. Communication in BDSM is the first thing that needs to be developed.

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