DM harassment

Leaked video of an NYC council candidate in a BDSM dungeon

DM harassment

DM harassment, god, I hate when I log into a social media account or forum only to find so many unsolicited messages in my DMs.

It doesn’t mean that because I am open to discussing sex and BDSM that I necessarily want people to send me strange and creepy messages. There is often a stigma involved with BDSM, and it is often associated with “perverted people that have horrendous fantasies.” However, it is furthermost from the truth, as I have often explained, BDSM is so much more than just kink or sex; there is a deep bond created, with trust being the most crucial part of the relationship or dynamic.

I am, however, deviating from what I wanted to write about today.  

There are so many Dom/me that randomly message people in various forums and communities, trying to “dominate” them with commands. WTF, does this really work?

DM harassment is a thing; you can not just message people and give them commands; this is not how life works; this is not how a relationship is established or created. You can’t demand something or threaten people if they don’t want to engage with you.

Do not assume that you have any right to insert yourself into another person’s life ever. I know with the pandemic, it is difficult to go out and meet people. We are all confined to our homes, and yes, it can get lonely at times.

DM harassment
Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash

Join forums and communities, create a post, or comment on people’s posts. Check if you can DM them first; before contacting them directly. People will be more open to having a chat and getting to know you if you do it the right way. Would you let a random stranger into your house? No, cause that is crazy, and you are just asking for something terrible to happen.

The first thing you need is mutual consent that both parties want to engage in a “get to know” you discussion. You can see from there if you have anything in common.  There could even be an attraction between the two of you. However, this does not happen in a few minutes or an hour; it takes time to build a friendship and a relationship.  

If you just want to “bust a nut,” go to PornHub and get your freak on there, don’t traumatize people with your attempts to have them submit to you. Most of the time, you don’t know what BDSM is about, let alone what it takes or means to be a Dom/me.

If you are looking for friends or even a relationship, be honest about who you are. Decide what kind of person you want to be and become that person. Don’t pretend to be something you are not.

DM harassment is real, don’t be that person, you are better than that.

WiseHarsh

DM harassment is a thing; you can not just message people and give them commands; this is not how life works; this is not how a relationship is established or created. You can’t demand something or threaten people if they don’t want to engage with you.

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