I think I’m into BDSM; what now?
I think I’m into BDSM; what now. This question comes up more often than most people will believe; more people are exploring their sexuality at a younger age.
I personally feel this is excellent news, and I believe sexual compatibility is essential in any relationship but more so if you are a kinkster. Everyone has kinks; some will never discuss it or act on them. Other people like me are willing to talk about it, explore it and learn as much as possible.
So you have realized, I’m into BDSM and have no idea where to start or how to approach people.
I think I’m into BDSM; what now. Firstly I would recommend taking the BDSM test; this test will help you discover your current kinks and pinpoint what role you should research. The BDSM test is not the be-all and all end, but it’s a good start. I would also recommend taking it several times over the next few years, as your kinks will change, and so will your hard and soft limits.
You will also need to do some reading; books definitely worth reading are The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book. These books will give you a better understanding of BDSM and teach you the basics. I am a switch, so I decided to read both books to understand all the dynamics involved.
It would also be beneficial to join online kink communities and create a FetLife account; FetLife is the kinky version of Facebook. There are many groups you can join to start exploring your kink. You can look for local communities or munches so that you can meet kink-orientated people in your town or city.
It is always helpful to meet and befriend like-minded people. They will introduce you to others in the community. You might be lucky enough to meet a submissive or dominant, depending on your preference.
You will be learning and experiencing a lot of new things, things to always bear in mind –
- Look out for red flags; as with the real world, not everyone is who they claim to be.
- Never put yourself in a situation that you feel could be compromising, always meet at public places, and don’t give up personal information until you are sure this is something you want to do.
- There need to be discussions regarding what you like, what you don’t like. You need to discuss soft limits and hard limits, and you MUST have a safeword always.
- Always trust your gut. If something doesn’t seem right or feels off, walk away.
The BDSM community is more significant than most people believe it to be, and there are so many different types of people involved. There is a place for everyone.
Become active in online and local communities, learn as much as you can. You can always ask questions and learn from more experienced submissives and dominants in the communities.
Enjoy the ride and keep on learning. Stay safe and play safe.
I think I’m into BDSM; what now. Firstly I would recommend taking the BDSM test; this test will help you discover your current kinks and pinpoint what role you should research. The BDSM test is not the be-all and all end, but it’s a good start. I would also recommend taking it several times over the next few years, as your kinks will change, and so will your hard and soft limits.