Ownership in a BDSM relationship,
Ownership in a BDSM relationship is often sexualized and romanticized; it is fun in a scene or role play.
Ownership can occur in many different forms depending on the dynamic and the relationship; both partners usually negotiate ownership. Both partners will discuss the need and goal to own or be owned, which is essential if you are really interested in this dynamic type. Ownership could be 24/7 or negotiated for specific days or maybe only during scenes.
If ownership is your kink, I would suggest testing the waters first before diving into it. Often the fantasy is better than reality. Negotiate ownership with your partner for a scene, or if you are looking for a more permanent type of ownership, arrange a week of ownership and decide if this is really for you.
We are all different in our kinks and fetishes, and I would never kink shame anyone for their need for ownership. Many people need to have control, and many need to be controlled. I have come across many submissives that prefer that all decisions are made for them.
As I said above, I think the idea of ownership is sexualized and romanticized. I believe that BDSM newbies and vulnerable submissives think that ownership will create a strong bond. That once they are owned, their partner will only have their best interests at heart and make decisions that will benefit the submissive (slave). It is usually the complete opposite.
Don’t get me wrong; there are many successful ownership stories out there, but these relationships didn’t happen overnight or over a couple of months. These relationships took time to build, and I can guarantee you it took several years to get to the point of actual ownership. Trust is the most crucial part of a BDSM relationship; I have said this so often. You need to honestly know the person you want to own or be owned by.
Ownership in a BDSM relationship is often an excuse for abuse and servitude, especially in new relationships. Abusive and predatory dominants take advantage of vulnerable submissives, often forcing them into scenes that they aren’t comfortable with or using them as toys among their friends.
I have seen many heartbreaking stories where submissives were sexually exploited and abused under the guise of ownership, submissives that lost all their savings and assets after their “owner” sold it or spent it.
Ownership in a BDSM relationship can be whatever you and your partner want it to be; you can sign contracts; however, remember these contracts aren’t binding; they are basically a “promise ring.” As much as you love your partner, always put yourself first. Your safety and mental health need to be of utmost importance to you.
If you are owned and feel that this is not what you wanted or thought it would be, withdraw consent and see if you and your partner can negotiate different terms. You have the right to stop and walk away.
Always put yourself first.
Ownership in a BDSM relationship is often an excuse for abuse and servitude, especially in new relationships. Abusive and predatory dominants take advantage of vulnerable submissives, often forcing them into scenes that they aren’t comfortable with or using them as toys among their friends.