Verbal abuse in a relationship,
Verbal abuse in a relationship might not seem as bad as physical abuse; however, I was in a very abusive relationship for years, and honestly, in my opinion, the verbal abuse left more scars than the physical abuse.
I experienced all forms of abuse, and to this day, the verbal abuse I experienced is still something I repeatedly hear in my head. It is as if all those terrible remarks became my mantra that I repeat to myself. They are imprinted on your self-esteem.
The thing with verbal abuse is that it comes out of nowhere; it starts with subtle undertones and escalates from there. By the time you realize you are in an abusive relationship, the damage has already been done.
There are several verbal abuse signs to look out for; not all of them individually indicate you are in an abusive relationship, but you might be in a verbally abusive relationship if several resonate with you. Some of the normal verbal abuse characteristics are below:
- Name-calling – Often calling you stupid, a loser, or an idiot, or even more offensive names.
- Condescension – Always being the butt of your partner’s jokes; it becomes degrading behavior with time.
- Criticism – They will constantly criticize you; they will make remarks about your hair, clothes, or make-up. They might even mock your body or weight.
- Demeaning comments – Claiming that you can’t do anything right or that you’re a typical woman that’s always crying.
- Threats – Telling you if you don’t do what they want, something else might happen, i.e., Saying they will take the kids away or that your pet might disappear.
- Blame – They will always blame you for their mistakes or shortcomings, saying things like – if you were more organized, maybe we wouldn’t always be late or look at what you made me do.
- Silent treatment – If you’ve argued, they will ignore you and give you the silent treatment. Refusing to answer questions you ask. They refuse to respond to you until you apologize.
- Gaslighting – Making you think your crazy by claiming that isn’t what happened or making you believe you said or did something you didn’t do. It makes you question yourself and apologize even though you did nothing wrong.
If you think you in a verbally abusive relationship, you need to know and understand it is not your fault. You have done nothing wrong; your partner needs help and needs to decide on their own to go to therapy or counseling. Do you get caught up in an argument with them? Instead, it would be best if you walked away from the fight.
You might need to end the relationship if you are in a verbally abusive relationship; you will need a support system like friends and family that you can depend on initially. Your partner will try to convince you they have changed and ask you to take them back. People don’t change overnight, and it is a long process to break abusive behavior.
Take time for yourself and heal, it won’t be easy, and many things will stay with you for years, but you are the only one that can put an end to the abusive relationship start healing. You are beautiful, you are loved, and you deserve better.
The thing with verbal abuse is that it comes out of nowhere; it starts with subtle undertones and escalates from there. By the time you realize you are in an abusive relationship, the damage has already been done.