What is a ruined orgasm?
A ruined orgasm is an orgasm that is stopped just before the climax, and this is done on purpose and forms part of the tease and denial play. Your submissive should achieve an orgasm, but it shouldn’t be an intensely satisfying orgasm.
You might wonder what the purpose of a ruined orgasm is; it is considered a fetish among many people in the BDSM realm. It forms part of the dominance and submission dynamic, and it is extremely popular in the Femdom community, but ruined orgasms can be included in any relationship or dynamic.
You would think a ruined orgasm would be easy to achieve, but it actually isn’t. There are so many ways you can have an orgasm; to stop or ruin one takes time and practice. If you stop too soon, it will be considered edging, and if you stop too late, they will still probably have an intense orgasm.
Just like everything in BDSM, ruined orgasms need to be discussed before a scene or play. You will both need to first consent to ruined orgasms; if a ruined orgasm is done on purpose without prior negotiating, your submissive will feel confused and more than likely experience subdrop, which should be avoided by all means.
The trick is to decide on a safe word so that your submissive can let you know if they are close to orgasm. The more frequently you ruin orgasms, the more likely you will be able to pick up on your submissive’s body language when they are close to their climax.
Once your submissive has indicated that they are close to orgasm, stop all stimulation immediately, whether it be oral, a handjob, or pushing them out/off of you. You will leave them high and dry as they experience their ruined orgasm. Ruined orgasms can fall within a humiliation or degradation kink, and you can verbally humiliate your submissive or include genitorture as they climax.
It would be best to always discuss limits and boundaries before any play, and this is essential with genitorture and any form of humiliation or degradation.
Aftercare should always be included after a scene; make sure you are both are mentally and physically okay. Discuss the scene and everything you enjoyed or disliked. Aftercare will also help your submissive become grounded again after a scene if any humiliation or impact play was part of the scene.
You would think a ruined orgasm would be easy to achieve, but it actually isn’t. There are so many ways you can have an orgasm; to stop or ruin one takes time and practice. If you stop too soon, it will be considered edging, and if you stop too late, they will still probably have an intense orgasm.