Fantasy vs. Reality in kinks

Fantasy vs. Reality in kinks and BDSM is just that, fantasies. BDSM is often about role-playing, fantasies, and mainly power dynamics.

CNC and rape play have become extremely popular over the last few years, and many vanilla people will see this as dangerous and reckless, and in a way, it can be. But this is the difference between fantasy vs. reality in kinks.

Many people who include CNC or rape play in their dynamic have discussed it in depth with their partner; it is consensual. It is not something that just happens. You will discuss your limits and boundaries with your partner. You will discuss how the scene will play out beforehand. There will be safe words or gestures agreed upon by both partners that will stop the scene if either partner wants it to stop immediately. You don’t just jump into a scene; you will include specific kinks or scenarios into your play as you build up to rape play or a CNC scene.

It doesn’t mean that if you have darker kinks like a rape kink that you will play it out in real life, for instance, walking around scantily clad in barely-there clothing hoping to be raped by some unknown stranger.

This is what I love about BDSM, being able to discuss your deepest darkest desires and fetishes without being judged by your partner. Having a partner that shares your fantasies and kinks and is willing to role play it with you in a safe scene that you both have consented to beforehand.

There are times when you might not share these kinks with your partner, and you can tell them this is a boundary or a limit for you. There will usually be a few ways to work around it, or if it is a hard limit, you can agree to have them engage in these kinks with someone else or end the dynamic and look for a new partner where your kinks are more aligned to each other. This is why it is essential to negotiate kinks and fetishes early in a relationship to know what you are getting involved in; many people new to kink will just say yes and agree even though they might not enjoy these types of kinks.

Even though most dynamics in BDSM involve certain taboo kinks during role play, it doesn’t mean that everyone is who they portray themselves to be. There are abusers and predators out there that use BDSM as a disguise to be shitty human beings. So always trust your gut and look out for red flags as what you might think is a fantasy they want to have as reality. This is especially important to remember when engaging in online dynamics or relationships.

CNC and rape play have become extremely popular over the last few years, and many vanilla people will see this as dangerous and reckless, and in a way, it can be. But this is the difference between fantasy vs. reality in kinks.