Submissives are equals

Submissives are equals in a dynamic or relationship, and this is something you should never forget. We have all been in relationships before. We know what a relationship consists of and what it takes to keep both partners happy and content in a relationship. BDSM relationships are no different from vanilla relationships.

There seems to be this idea out there in the stratosphere that because you are submissive and your partner is a Dominant that you have to put up with shitty behavior that would never work in a vanilla relationship. If you are in a relationship with your Dom/me, your relationship needs to come first before your dynamic. If you are FWB or just in a BDSM dynamic, you need to set your standards as to what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior.

I always mention how trust and communication are essential in BDSM, but so many people don’t truly understand this. It is always perplexing to me how a Dom/me is monogamous until they know their sub is committed to them and then suddenly realize they are poly; I mean, WTF is that about?

You either are poly, or you aren’t. If your Dom/me pulls this move on, you decide there if this is something you want; don’t stay because you want to make them happy as it will only allow for more shitty behavior in the future. If your Dom/me claims they were always poly, that means they were lying to you from the get-go, and that is a major red flag right there, RUN!

You deserve to be a priority even if you are a submissive, your submission is a gift to your Dom/me, and if they take it for granted, you can withdraw consent and either renegotiate your dynamic or move on. Your wants and needs in your dynamic are just as important as your Dom/me’s; submissives are equals to their partners no matter what; as a Dom/me, you want to protect and care for your submissive.

Don’t let your Dom/me gaslight you into believing that they have done everything right and that you are just a bad submissive. In BDSM, you have hard limits, soft limits, and boundaries; You as a submissive should also have hard limits, soft limits, and boundaries of what you will accept in a relationship. Please don’t allow a Dom/me to walk over you.

You are first a human being before you are a submissive, and You deserve to be treated right no matter your power exchange or role in your dynamic.

You deserve to be a priority even if you are a submissive, your submission is a gift to your Dom/me, and if they take it for granted, you can withdraw consent and either renegotiate your dynamic or move on. Your wants and needs in your dynamic are just as important as your Dom/me’s; submissives are equals to their partners no matter what; as a Dom/me, you want to protect and care for your submissive.