BDSM vs Abuse

BDSM vs Abuse

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BDSM vs abuse is a very misunderstood concept.

As I mentioned in a previous blog, I was in a very abusive relationship for years. The abuse was physical and emotional, and it broke me in ways I could not comprehend. It took many years to get over it and move on. I have scars on my body that I have learned to love over time. However, there were scars on my soul.

Those scars are harder to heal, but they do heal. The scars on my soul have made me an overly cautious person. I will not reveal my true self to people quickly; you must first gain my trust, which is not always an easy task; I continuously look for red flags, and I will test a friendship or relationship as stupid as it may seem.

I had no control or say over anything in my previous abusive relationship. I have often been criticized because I am into BDSM, they will say, but I was in an abusive relationship and must have somehow enjoyed the abuse to an extent. This goes to show how naïve some people are.

In an abusive relationship, you have no say over the abuse, regardless of the kind of abuse in the relationship. You have no power; you are in constant fear of what might trigger the next outburst. BDSM is built on trust and consent; if you are with the right partner, your well-being is of utmost importance to them.

BDSM is a consensual power exchange, no matter your dynamic or what scene you are in, if you feel insecure or that something might go too far. All you must do is use your safeword, and either everything stops or is brought back to a more comfortable activity. In BDSM, you have power and control over what kind of role-playing you will participate in and what your hard and soft limits are.

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BDSM helped me get over the trauma of my previous abusive relationship; I realized what it meant to be able to trust someone with your well-being. It was not easy as I have serious trust issues. As I got more comfortable, I started slowly, and I realized how empowering it was to give someone control over yourself to someone or to be in control of someone who trusted you completely.

In an abusive relationship, pain is a punishment and a way for a partner to hurt their significant other and show them how worthless and helpless they are; it is a way of breaking you down and forcing you to be what they want you to be. The pain inflicted is not for pleasure; it is meant to hurt you.

BDSM is a world where you find a partner with the same kink or mindset, a place where you build a strong bond with your partner. There is pain, but in a sexual aspect, a pain that arouses you or creates a release. There is not always pain involved in BDSM, depending on your dynamic; you can decide what you want to do or what you are willing to try. It will surprise you how pleasurable pain can be if applied in the right way.

BDSM vs abuse, there is no comparison. These are two completely different interactions that should not be compared to each other. One is forced, and the other is mutually agreed upon beforehand.

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BDSM vs abuse, there is no comparison. These are two completely different interactions that should not be compared to each other. One is forced, and the other is mutually agreed upon beforehand.

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