Bondage, how to set a bondage scene
You and your partner have realized that bondage is a shared kink; you have discussed it in-depth and negotiated all your limits and boundaries. You have decided on a safe word, and you are ready to play, but where do you begin? How do you set the bondage scene?
This is, unfortunately, how it begins and ends when you realize you have shared kinks but don’t know how to include them in your play. There is more to bondage than tying your partner up or using a fancy knot you learned in boy scouts. You tie your partner up, and you have no idea what to do next.
You have the desire, but no experience in creating or playing out a bondage scene, and the lack of knowledge affects your dominant persona and what was a great bondage scene in your head falls flat in real life. Now everyone will tell you, myself included, to read books, take some classes and join online communities so that you can learn from others. Knowledge is power, but you will learn the most from what you and your partner want out of your dynamic and scenes.
This want is not only your desire to tie up or be tied up but why you need this. What is it that either of you wants from the scene? Does your partner want to achieve subspace from the bonding? Is it the ultimate form of submission to them? Are they a masochist, is this a form of punishment?
No person is alike in this world regardless of whether you are into BDSM, dominant or submissive. Trying to take another’s person scene will not be authentic to your dynamic; you need to communicate thoroughly with each other; even though BDSM is role-playing, in essence, it is a mind game. If you don’t understand your partners’ mind, you cant play the game with them.
Once you understand your partner’s kinks and what they want from a scene, you will be able to set up a scene. It isn’t necessary to write it down, but you can plan it out to get a general idea of how you want it to go. Will you use impact play like floggers or maybe some sensation play.
Decide on what tools you want to use, like rope, bondage tape, or just cuffs. Set up the room beforehand, have all your tools ready nearby so that you are calm and in the right headspace.
You have discussed everything with your partner, and you know each other’s limits and safewords. Your scene is planned out, and your tools are ready. Now is when the fun starts.
Start off slow, let the momentum build-up for the climax of the scene, and always make time for aftercare.
You and your partner have realized that bondage is a shared kink; you have discussed it in-depth and negotiated all your limits and boundaries. You have decided on a safe word, and you are ready to play, but where do you begin? How do you set the bondage scene?