Dominant stuck in a rut

Bondage cuffs

Dominant stuck in a rut

Having a Dominant stuck in a rut is more common than you would think. When you start a kinky relationship, it is always exhilarating to play with a new partner. At times you get so excited you throw the whole bag of sex toys, and the kitchen sink into the mix immediately.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with this; however, once you have experienced all your kinky fantasies and delved into all your combined kinks. It might only be a few months into the relationship that you realize that your scenes seem to be the same scene over and over.

It happens to everyone at some point; you and your partner are in a comfort zone. The scenes start becoming mundane, and you think to yourself that this isn’t why you got into kink. You wonder if you have reached the end of your relationship, or maybe your kinks just don’t align anymore. This is actually far from the truth, unfortunately with life and all its responsibilities, especially during a pandemic. It is easy to fall into a routine.

As a dominant, a comfort scene is easy, you know what works, and there is no planning needed. I have seen countless submissives complain online that they are experiencing the same scene over and over. Broken down into cuff them, spread them, and spank them; you might have sex afterward and a little aftercareScene done!

Dominant stuck in a rut
Photo by Karl Edwards on Unsplash

This is a perfect go-to scenario if you just need some time together. It will, however, help if you keep exploring ideas and kinks together. If you add something new into the mix, you would have already spiced up the scene or dynamic.

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There are a few ways you can shake things up.

  • Toys – You can decide together what kind of toys you would like to experiment with, Hey you could even get new kinky furniture together or buy some latex or leather pieces.
  • Community – Get more involved with your community; online communities often discuss new ideas or ways to kink up a scene. Whether it be new bondage ideas or gear that has just been released. The internet has a vast source of ideas available.
  • Watching scenes together – This could be a porn video or a scene at your local dungeon; knowledge is power the more things you see and open to trying, the more possibilities you will have to reenact them together. You will often get scene ideas this way.
  • Skills – There are countless classes available for just about everything in this world; Fetlife will have classes and events listed on this website for your region. Enroll and learn a new skill, whether it be Shibari or a lecture on how to care for your equipment or toys.

The most important thing to do with a dominant stuck in a rut is to talk to them; communication is essential in any dynamic. If you are a submissive, offer to come up with a scene once a month, taking the pressure off your dominant and encouraging them to come up with new ideas.

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The most important thing to do with a dominant stuck in a rut is to talk to them; communication is essential in any dynamic. If you are a submissive, offer to come up with a scene once a month, taking the pressure off your dominant and encouraging them to come up with new ideas.

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