Gentle Dominance is far from the fantasy that most submissives have, but a Gentle Dom/me is more prevalent in BDSM dynamics than you would believe. We all initially have this idea of what a Dom/me should be, but fantasy rarely matches reality.
No one dynamic is the same, No submissive is the same, and No Dom will be the same. We all have different kinks and different ways of submitting or Dominating a partner. There is no right way or wrong way to have a BDSM dynamic.
There is often the misconception that all subs are masochists and the same with Dom/me’s that you need to be a strict hard Dom/me that is either clad in leather or latex and willing to punish you on the spot. This doesn’t mean they don’t exist or that you cant get a Pro Dom/me to fulfill this fantasy for you.
Gentle Dominance doesn’t mean your partner is not Dominant; their technique is more nurturing and caregiver orientated. Instead of punishing you, they will encourage and persuade you to do better; they will praise and coo over their submissives.
This doesn’t mean your Dom can not be stricter or rougher with you; through communication and negotiation, you can have your Dom/me take on a rougher stance during a scene or with a specific play. Both partners have needs in a dynamic, and both are equal partners in the dynamic regardless of each other’s roles.
A Dom/me is responsible for themselves and their submissive, physically, emotionally, and mentally. Gentle Dominance is a better way to help your submissive grow and come into their own; by supporting and encouraging your submissive in a nurturing way doesn’t make you less of a Dom/me.
A Dom/me still has the final say regardless of what type of Dom/me they are; D/s has nothing to do with how rough or gentle your partner is. It is about trust, honesty, and knowing your partner has your best interests at heart.