People often misunderstand BDSM
Unfortunately, many people misunderstand BDSM completely. There is so much more to BDSM than the disillusion of pain and torture.
Nobody in this world is the same; we are all unique in who we are and what we like. Thank goodness for that. However, with that in mind, the same must be said about sexual preferences. Everyone has their sexual preferences; some people like foreplay, others like to jump straight into it.
Don’t misunderstand BDSM; BDSM is an umbrella for kinks and fetishes; however, it does not mean that if someone has some BDSM kinks that they are into all BDSM kinks. BDSM relationships are the same as vanilla relationships; however, with BDSM relationships, partners are more open about their desires and fantasies. This is the foundation of a BDSM relationship; trust is also of utmost importance; you trust someone with your desires and fantasies and know you can trust them to push your limits without hurting you.
I often come across people that want to explore BDSM in their relationships but don’t know how to discuss it with their partners. My first piece of advice to you is to learn about BDSM, read books, do your research so that you and your partner don’t misunderstand BDSM. You must talk to your partner about possibly exploring different things in the bedroom, don’t just bring BDSM into the bedroom. It could create issues in the bedroom and your relationship; the most crucial thing you need in a BDSM dynamic is consent.
Discuss your kinks and fantasies with your partner, find out what kind of fantasies your partner has. BDSM is like coffee; everyone loves coffee. However, everyone likes their coffee in different ways with different things. Some might like it black while others like a cafe latte; there is nothing wrong with either version. There is, however, a common ground; both versions are coffee.
It is also important to remember that fantasy is often just that, a fantasy. It does not mean because someone has a fantasy that it necessarily needs to become a reality; sometimes fantasies are just fantasies. Don’t judge your partner on their kinks or fantasies. Talk to them and try to discover how you can participate in these kinks with your partner.
Often kinks can come from early life trauma or traumatic experiences, and it helps individuals face this trauma, embrace this trauma, and essentially overcome this trauma.
Don’t misunderstand BDSM, BDSM is an umbrella for kinks and fetishes; however, it does not mean that if someone has some BDSM kinks that they are into all BDSM kinks. BDSM relationships are the same as vanilla relationships; however, with BDSM relationships, partners are more open about their desires and fantasies. This is the foundation of a BDSM relationship; trust is also of utmost importance; you trust someone with your desires and fantasies and know you can trust them to push your limits without hurting you.