When they say safewords are not necessary or ignore them
When you meet a Dom or sub, and they think safewords are not necessary, run like hell. This is a huge red flag from the get-go and something you should not even consider exploring. There are too many people claiming that safewords are not necessary; these people don’t understand BDSM and definitely don’t have your best interests at heart.
Safewords are exactly that; words agreed upon by both partners that if either partner feels anything is moving too fast or too hard, they can either slow it down or stop it immediately.
If you are starting a new dynamic or relationship within the BDSM realm, safewords are the most crucial thing in your discussions. You will need one safeword at least, preferably two. One safeword, essentially to slow the scene down if it moves too fast or the impact play is getting too hard. Another safeword that means stop; stop right now.
If your new partner claims that they will know when to stop or that you must just trust them as they know what they are doing, this is complete bullshit. Firstly it takes time to trust someone, and if you have just met them, how the hell do they know what your limits are and how far they can take you without a safe word? Do not engage unless you have safewords in play.
As relationships progress and you know your partner, they will pick up on your movements and expressions, and they will be able to slow down or change the scene up to make it work for you. Ideally, you want to come to a point in your dynamic where you don’t use your safewords as you trust your partner to stop before it needs to be signaled or used. However, the safewords are still there, and you can use them if you need to.
Suppose you are already in a D/s relationship with your partner, and they ignore your safeword or claim that it isn’t your safeword during a scene or impact play. In that case, you have a severe problem in your relationship, and you need to stop the scene and step outside the dynamic immediately by withdrawing consent. A partner that disregards your safewords is dangerous, and you will need to reestablish trust and set out new boundaries in your relationship. You might even need to renegotiate your dynamic before you can even consider doing a scene.
Safewords are the start of building trust in a partner and a dynamic; through communication, you establish boundaries and limits, and safewords, this is how you start a dynamic. You need to know that you can trust this person to respect your wants, needs, and your limits.
If a partner says safewords are not necessary or ignore them, they are potential abusers or predators. This is a massive red flag and a violation of your trust and consent; trust your gut and decide what makes you feel more comfortable. If you are new to BDSM, don’t get caught up in a sub frenzy and do something that could potentially put you in danger.
When you meet a Dom or sub, and they think safewords are not necessary, run like hell. This is a huge red flag from the get-go and something you should not even consider exploring. There are too many people claiming that safewords aren’t needed; these people don’t understand BDSM and definitely don’t have your best interests at heart.