FemDom Basics

flogging

FemDom Basics

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FemDom or Dommes are female dominants; some take this role on quickly as it is in their nature, where others will often be asked to Domme, their partner, for the first time in a sexual nature. Domme’s are biological women or identify as female.

Deciding to Domme or being asked to Domme a partner can be scary and nerve-racking in the beginning. I loved the idea of Domming, my partner, when I was younger but did not know how I could do it without making a total idiot of myself. I am a very dominating person in my everyday life, so that mindset was easy to achieve, but I didn’t know what to do or how to do it.

So my advice would be first to decide if this is something you want to try, never take on a role that you aren’t excited about and never do something just to make your partner happy, you need to be excited about trying this out, or you will fail.

Second, discuss it with your partner; even if they brought the Domming up, it must be discussed before you even consider scenes or types of play. You need to understand what drives their desire to be dominated and what they want to get out of the experience. You will also need to discuss boundaries and limits, not only their’s but yours as well. There are things some of us don’t want to do or engage in, and there is nothing wrong with saying it’s a limit for you.

Once you know this is something you want to try out and understand what your partner wants, it is time to plan the scene. Now generally, I don’t plan scenes as I tend to know what I want to do, and it plays out naturally from there, but with your first few scenes as a Domme, I would recommend plan out the basics at least, the where, how and when.

Depending on whether you want some elements to be a surprise or not, you need to give your partner a breakdown of what the scene will entail. This way, you both are aware of what type of play will be in the scene; it can be light impact play, bondage, or even orgasm denial. By telling them about the scene, you will prevent any surprises or abrupt stops to the scene. You will also need to discuss if you want to use a safeword, the traffic light system, or even gestures, but it is imperative to have a safeword system in place for both of you.

So the scene is planned, everyone has an idea of what will take place. Include accessories like blindfolds, floggers, and even restraints if your partner agreed to be tied up or impact play beforehand. Blindfolds were a must for me in my first Domming scenes as it takes some pressure off you as your partner can’t see your nervousness or even if you make a mistake. Restraints also help keep them in place as you start to tease them as you are in control now. Depending on what you agreed or your dynamic, you can use a flogger or riding crop if they move, touch you or themselves without permission.

Start off slowly and see what works for both of you; there is no rule book on FemDom or way a scene MUST play out. This is about you taking control and using your sexual power to blow your partners mind.

FemDom or Dommes are female dominants; some take this role on quickly as it is in their nature, where others will often be asked to Domme, their partner, for the first time in a sexual nature. Domme’s are biological women or identify as female.

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