Claims that BDSM stems from trauma,

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Claims that BDSM stems from trauma,

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Many people believe that BDSM stems from trauma or sexual abuse experienced in early childhood years; there is a perception out there that BDMS participants are damaged or dangerous.

This is a stigma most of us have experienced at least once when discussing our thoughts or interests in BDSM. Instead of being considered normal sex interactions, it is claimed to be deviant or perverted. Many people can not even discuss BDSM with friends or family out of fear of being judged or ridiculed.

A study recently published has concluded that their findings do not support the hypothesis of BDSM being a maladaptive coping mechanism in response to early life dynamics. So the ideology that BDSM stems from trauma is slowly being disproved.

Everyone has experienced trauma to some extent in their life; however, not everyone is involved in BDSM. I was in a toxic, abusive relationship for years; I have experienced sexual abuse and physical abuse, I was constantly gaslighted into believing it was my fault.

Through BDSM, I was able to heal from my experiences. I enjoy that I can control the scene and what happens; there is a safeword and limits that I find comfort in. I also trust my playmate/partner, and I believe that with BDSM, I was able to learn to trust someone. This has been the biggest reward from my experiences.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

I also believe that couples engaged in BDSM are more open with each other because of their wants and desires; they will often discuss scenes and what they liked and disliked. It also makes relationships much more substantial as you are not hiding a piece of yourself from your partner. They know the real you. Which is something we all strive for at the end of the day, being able to be your true self.

A study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine believes people involved in BDSM may actually be more mentally healthy. The research suggests people who engage in BDSM activities often show more extroverted qualities and tend to be more open to experiences and more conscientious. They also tend to be less neurotic and less sensitive to rejection.

The study also showed BDSM practitioners had a more secure attachment style. It’s hypothesized that people involved in BDSM are more mindful during sex than those who do not engage in BDSM practices.

So we might be shunned for now, but as more studies are published, BDSM will slowly become more acceptable. The idea that BDSM stems from trauma will also fade away with time.

Strange how we as BDSM participants won’t kink shame others, yet others always kink shame us.

Many people believe that BDSM stems from trauma or sexual abuse experienced in early childhood years; there is a perception out there that BDMS participants are damaged or dangerous.

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