CNC scenes,
CNC scenes should ideally be impulsive, and in the heat of the moment, this is the ultimate way to experience CNC and that the whole idea on consensual non-consensual. It, however, takes time to get to this point in a relationship or dynamic. There is planning and negotiating needed in the beginning when starting out with CNC. It is essential that both partners enjoy CNC and understand each other’s limits and boundaries before impulsive CNC scenes.
Once you and your partner have experienced planned CNC scenes, you can have more impulsive scenes without planning the scene beforehand, and this makes it so much more exciting as you now know what works for you and your partner.
When you initiate an unplanned scene, always use activities you have already incorporated into planned CNC scenes previously. If you have used impact play or breathe play previously in CNC, you can use these in unplanned scenes but don’t use knife play if this is something you haven’t discussed or used in other scenes.
Many couples use a clothing item or piece of jewelry to indicate they are open to unplanned CNC scenes if their partner wants to initiate it. For instance, if a particular scarf is worn or there is a bracelet on the kitchen counter, it has been pre-negotiated that free use is then in play.
Unplanned CNC can start off verbally or be initiated by the dominant partner, and the submissive partner will usually resist their dominant and “fight” them off. Depending on what type of rough play your use in normal activities, the idea of CNC is to resit but not actually fight your partner off unless this has been negotiated, where you have agreed on fight of flight scenes.
CNC usually has several different forms of play included in a scene; rough play and impact play is normal during a scene as it makes the fantasy “real.” Knife play and gunplay are usually used in kidnapping CNC scenes, but this isn’t always possible to use in an unplanned scene as a lot of planning is needed to make it work.
It is always important to remember that you don’t have to go ahead with an unplanned CNC scene if you don’t want to; some people have to be in the right headspace to play a CNC scene. This is why it’s crucial to have prenegotiated signs, items, or even specific phrases that will let your partner know you are in the right space. Safewords are a must in any dynamic, and both partners must understand that they can use their safewords at any time if a CNC scene is pushing a boundary or limit.
Consensual non-consensual scenes should always be safe, sane, and consensual. Don’t engage in scenes or activities just to make your partner happy. This is something you should both enjoy, and if either of you is unsure, take a step back, renegotiate and make sure you are both happy with the planned scene, don’t do unplanned CNC unless you have previously done a few planned CNC scenes with your partner.
Many couples use a clothing item or piece of jewelry to indicate they are open to unplanned CNC scenes if their partner wants to initiate it. For instance, if a particular scarf is worn or there is a bracelet on the kitchen counter, it has been pre-negotiated that free use is then in play.