Ending the BDSM relationship or dynamic

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Ending the BDSM relationship or dynamic

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Ending the BDSM relationship or dynamic can be a complicated process. A BDSM dynamic or relationship is so much more profound than your average vanilla relationship.

In any BDSM relationship or dynamic, there will always be a strong bond between the dominant and the submissive. Trust is the foundation on which all BDSM dynamics or relationships are built. This is the core of BDSM; you share experiences, learn about your kinks and fetishes and consensually push each other’s boundaries. You grow together in your dynamic or relationship, becoming more vital to your partnership.

However, there is a misconception that the Dominant has all the power once you are in a dynamic. Your Dom/me controls the narrative; however, you have a safeword as a submissive. If something is off with the scene or going in the wrong direction, you can use your safeword.

Even in a 24/7 total power exchange relationship or dynamic, there will be a “speak freely” time slot every day or once a week where you can voice your concerns, discuss things you enjoyed or disliked. Regardless of your relationship or dynamic, you always have a voice.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

People tend to get caught up in their role-play; however, it is crucial to understand that this is only role-playing. At any given point, either partner can consider ending the BDSM relationship or dynamic.

I have come across several submissives who are under the impression they can’t end a dynamic or relationship with their Dom/me. Their Dom/me has to release them from the dynamic or relationship. This is what their Dom/me told them or led them to believe more often than not. Often a submissive might feel that the dominant can’t teach them anymore, or their emotional bond has changed.

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It is complete rubbish; either partner can end the dynamic or relationship. If a submissive feels they are in an abusive dynamic or relationship or their dominant is not taking their concerns seriously, they can withdraw their consent.

A BDSM dynamic or relationship is like any other relationship; you can leave or break up with your partner at any point when you feel it is no longer working out for you. Even though you might have an arrangement or “contract” that prevents you from making changes or decisions, this does not mean you can not remove yourself from an unhealthy dynamic or relationship.

You are still the only person that can decide what works or doesn’t work for you.  If you feel your dynamic or relationship is no longer working for you, discuss your concerns with your Dom/me. If nothing changes or they refuse to make changes, you can withdraw your consent until you have worked it out or end the relationship or dynamic.

It is never easy to walk away, but it is much harder to stay in a dynamic or relationship that doesn’t fulfill you, knowing the longer you wait, the worse it will get.

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Ending the BDSM relationship or dynamic can be a complicated process. A BDSM dynamic or relationship is so much more profound than your average vanilla relationship.

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